su. I C. de

Sometimes I just want to jump right out of this skin because negativity has colored coded me in.

I want to fuck when I’m in need, fuck to get over him, fuck to get to know me. I want to comfort my loneliness by being the beast.

Sometimes I want to punch, scratch, puncture, wound when I’m angry, jealous; full of envy. I want to scream at the top of my lungs. Break every TV, computer; anything that when broken will match then release the chaos within.

I want to disappear.

I want to stab at my heart and die.

I want to be revived.

I want to smile not just with my mouth, but with my soul and my eyes. I want to fight my sleep at night, stretching each second that makes up my life.

I want to embrace others with every intent to fully give myself, yet hold the very most intimate as a gift for the counter-me.

I want to look in the sky and thank God for opportunity. I want to be at peace as hope resides in my vision, seeing only success, pure joy and happiness.

Sometimes I want to kill myself so I can start to begin. In reality I know once I die, I’m dead.

Its without haste, decisions are made. And a Love for myself that keeps me sane.